Member-only story
Of Single motherhood
Nobody says they want to grow up like this
When I try to think back and quantify the defining moments when I knew being a single mom was where I was headed, my head starts to spin.
There were just so many of them and with every new one I was given, I hoped the ones that followed would negate what was more and more true.
One of the first hints that my future meant I would be a single mom happened on one of the many out of state road trips visiting my ex in-laws. I was already pregnant and the doctors were quick to determine it as a very high-risk pregnancy.
I was in and out of the hospital every week and sometimes twice a week. The doctors were perplexed by my unusually high blood pressure. The other “numbers” from the labs continued to be unexplainably “off the charts.” At the time, I didn’t know any better to tell them that my (now) abusive ex-husband was regularly berating, humiliating and raging at me and I was internalizing it all.
It had already been an extra stressful trip (as they all were) and there were still hours ahead of us to drive back to our home state.
I was going to be stuck in the car next to him feeling as unsafe as I always felt with him.
